This seems to make men crazy and women sad. Men judge their self worth by their erections thus the craziness. I am constantly amazed by men when in therapy divulge that they are having problems getting and maintaining an erection. There are two usual causes; Psychological or Physical.
Once you understand that the largest sex organ in your body is between your ears and not between your legs you can make some gains in dealing with psychological causes for erectile dysfunction. Past sexual abuse, stresses in your daily life and over thinking the problem are the usual culprits. If you have experienced sexual abuse in your past you need to deal with it through therapy. Most people do not have the objectivity to deal with this on their own. You can deal with the stresses of your daily life by making sure that you have time off, that you limit your work to your work and don’t bring it home and by developing quality relationships based on trust. Over thinking is something that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can help you with. Some things are better to just do than to contemplate.
Physical causes for erectile dysfunction can be dealt with through proper diet and exercise. First see your doctor and get their advice to ensure that a hidden physical cause is not your problem. If you can’t get it up or keep it up your body is telling you that you are not in shape for sex. Taking Viagra or any of the other many supplements will only mask the problem and empty your wallet. Your penis’s ability to form an erection is a direct reflection of your overall cardio vascular system. Rather than investing in the internets most for sale supplements or buying a huge truck invest in your own cardio vascular health.
First change your diet. Stop going for the sugar, salt and fat that most food manufactures are pushing. These dealers of death, who lace their products with the three things our taste buds crave, are not your friends. They would sell your rat poison if they could get away with it and you were dumb enough to eat it. They know that through our evolutionary history we never had enough fat, sugar and salt but now we have a conveyer belt laden with this stuff from the supermarket right into our mouths. Then they use emulsifiers, stabilizers and dozens of nasty food colors to make the three deadly ingredients into the shelves full of cereals, canned goods and boxes of crap that fill the middle aisles of your average supermarket. Shop the outside aisles, go heavy on the produce section, select range feed meats, free range eggs and go light on the gluten laden products.
Exercise regularly. Your cardio vascular system needs to be exercised as much as any other muscle structure in your body. If you cannot flex your outside muscles you probably cannot flex your cardio vascular system either. You do that guys by getting and maintaining an erection. Anaerobic exercise is what you need. Lifting weights is good for your outside muscles but you need to run, power walk, cycle or some other kind of anaerobic exercise to work out your cardio vascular system. I choose cycling and I think it’s the best but I am prejudiced. Ride every second day for at least an hour, preferably two, and in a few months you will see and feel the difference, so will your sexual partner. Make sure you have a good bike seat or you may undue all your hard work. Remember you ride on the main nerve that gives you feeling in your penis so your bike seat can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Any good bike shop can give you advice on this, it will be worth the investment, trust me on this.
We get into a rut of bad diet and no exercise and then expect to be rescued by our medical system. Take control of your life. Your doctor will help you in this if needed but if they sense you are abdicating your control to them they will write you a prescription or schedule surgery, which will only take your power away. If you are in good shape stay in good shape but if you can’t see your feet or your penis don’t give us and go for the pill. Change your diet and get on a bike. Start slow but persist and don’t give up. I have witnessed clients cure themselves of diabetes, heart disease, erectile dysfunction and more my taking responsibility for their lives and going for change.
I was listening to a radio show the other day and was amazed by an obese woman who was complaining that she has been waiting for seventeen years to get bariatric surgery. Wow, I almost drove off the road. Talk about codependent behavior between herself and her government. If she would have reduced her caloric intake by a hundred calories a day and exercised regularly (burning a 100 calories each session) she would have changed her whole life in a year or two. I once met a group of women who had to gain a few hundred more pounds to qualify for this surgery as they were not obese enough to qualify for the government to pay for it. They finally were obese enough and had the surgery but did not change their lifestyles. The weight fell off in the first year and they had to have plastic surgery to get ride of the skin flaps that now hung off them like sheets. Once they were tightened up they were ok for awhile. Then two things happened. They kept eating and without exercising they started to gain weight again but their skin has lost its elasticity. Soon they were splitting as their new seams and the next surgeries were to have their jaws wired shut. I met them at that point as a counsellor and could only help the ones who were interested in getting into a regular exercise program and who were willing to seriously deal with their food intake, not just quantity but quality. I was so shocked by this codependent dysfunctional relationship between these women and the medical system that quit taking such referrals and will only work now with people who are willing to take control of their lives and change their lives through diet and exercise.
Depression, anxiety, obesity, diabetes, heart disease, colitis and more can be dealt with through better diet (not dieting) and exercise. Always follow the advice of your doctor but tell them about your intention to get control of these problems yourself. You may need their help with medications or surgery but if you do your part they will have to intervene less as you intervene more.
Don’t give up. Change doesn’t happen overnight. I did it. I lost sixty five pounds, reversed my heart disease, avoided approaching diabetes and the need for Viagra all by choosing a prescription for a bike versus the alternative heart surgery and accompanying medications. That was thirty years ago and I have never looked back. Now at sixty three, I can ride fifty km when I want to and do it regularly, everything works well between my ears and legs and I am now enjoying my grandchildren while my peers that I grew up with are turning into fertilizer.
You are only too far gone to change things if you are dead. Being obese is no excuse to change. If you can’t get it up, do something about it. Don’t ignore your body’s warnings and take a pill to trick your cardio vascular system into an erection. Don’t let your type 11 diabetes ruin your life, change your life through exercise and a healthy diet. Depression and anxiety can melt away when you burn off the stress drugs that you make all day long. Don’t give away your power to anyone but take control of your life and change.
How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one but the light bulb has to want to change.