Grief is more than an intellectual pursuit. It is visceral; it takes in your brain, your body and your spirit. We can get through it much easier if we do more than sit around and mourn a lost love one. One aspect that is often neglected is exercise for we tend to become couch potatoes when grieving which can lead to depression and eventually to denial.
Get out and exercise; you will feel better for it. Don’t expect to want to. You will probably feel some quilt about it. Why should you go to the gym or go for a run or best a bike ride when I should be grieving the lose of someone I love. Dump the guilt and get on your bike and ride your ass off. The stress of dealing with a death of someone close, the stress of what happens to families when someone dies, especially a parent, is sometimes overwhelming. I am always amazed at how all of the negative family dynamics come back to the surface when a parent dies. Issues that have been dormant for years rise to the surface once more and with all the stress and grief we are not well endowed to deal with it.
Burn off the fight or flight body chemicals with a bike ride and accept the endorphin reward, you will feel much better for it. We are animals with systems designed over the millennia to not get eaten or to catch something to eat and many of the rituals to deal with grief have evolved along with us. In today’s modern and uptight society we grieve like we have a broom handle inserted up our bums. Rigid, uptight, formal services that can make us more tense and do not help us to really grieve are the order of the day, when what we need to do is wail and thrash about. That may not go over very well so get on your bike and ride your grief away. I can guarantee you that if you ride every second day for at least an hour (and push it) up to the funeral and then for a few weeks after you will feel much better and much less likely to develop depression or denial disorders.
I know of which I speak. In the last few years I have lost my father and my two best friends. My mother passed a week ago and I am practicing what I preach.